Dear black folks, I am sorry

Ok, is it just me or did Hillary Clinton’s apology to ‘the black community’ ring just a little bit hollow? Call me a psychic friend but I am guessing that her advisers probably sat her down in a room and there was a conversation that went a little something like this:

“Um, Hillary, you know that thing that you have been doing that Bill started in South Carolina where you basically just dismiss Barack Obama’s entire candidacy by painting him as ‘the black candidate?’ Yeah, well that’s really kind of starting piss people off. I mean, everybody is kind of pissed about it and, well, black people are reeeeallllly pissed about it. Apparently, they just went 9 out of 10 against you in Mississippi and pretty much erased any gains you made with Ohio, Rhode Island and Texas. So, um, seeing as how no democrat will ever get elected to the presidency without a strong turnout from African-American voters, we’re really gonna need you to make a speech or something to, um, well kind of say you’re, um, well, you know, you’re ah, well, you’re sorry.”

And then, after Hillary killed that guy and they dragged his body away (I am guessing on a plastic tarp, but that’s really just a guess) she apparently took his words to heart. Of course, she was probably eating his heart that she pulled out of his chest like the bad guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom while she did it, but the important thing was that she listened.

So yesterday, like a boyfriend who isn’t sure what he did and really doesn’t feel like he should be in trouble but who desperately wants to get laid again sometime this year, Hillary trotted out a nice big fat apology to all of the black folks who were offended by some of her campaign tactics, and to all the folks who didn’t like Hurricane Katrina and to all of the folks who were pissed that they tried to replace Arnold with that younger, cuter red-headed white kid during the last season of ‘Diff’rent Strokes.’

Ok, I made that last one up, but still, if it would have gotten her one more percentage point of the black vote in Philly, I have no doubt that Hillary would have stood up there and sang ‘Boogie Wonderland’ by Earth, Wind and Fire if they’d have asked her too.

Frankly, I am not sure what is more insulting, being told that the black guy who is campaigning better than you is just winning because he is black or being pandered to because someone finally realized that, oh yeah, your vote isn’t just a commodity to be taken for granted.

Either way, the Clinton campaign has now done their best to make this a race between blue-collar whites (read: poor) against black and once again the people who stand to gain the most from this are the old white guy and all of his rich friends.

Thanks a lot Hillary.